ANNOUNCER Jeff Harris
ROWAN LAWSON Daniel Christensen
THIRD-RATE UNDERBOSS Helena Kobayashi
ROWAN CARTWRIGHT Leo Kobayashi
GARNETT Erin Hauk
ARTIE / REGULUS TIBERIUS Nixon VanJustice
DESPAIR Courtney Jo
CORPORAL GRAY Cristin Williams
THEOPHANY BREWER Lecion Meyers
BARD COMMUNITY COLLEGE Gail Javarah Wamba
BAILIFF SIMON KOENIG Ramon Arjona
STABLE BOY Daniel Christensen
TARIQA SEVERINA Gail Javarah Wamba
THEODORA HOGGLESBOGGER Shawna Jacques
DOMINA THALESTRIS Sunnie Larsen
JOSHUA SMITH Tim Bruhn
KEVIN GUILDER Eric Cagle
RONNIE Shawna Jacques
STELLA Jon Sewell
DEEPWATER HEALTH DEPARTMENT Sunnie Larsen
SHERIDAN JAMESON SMITHWICK (SHART) Tim Bruhn
FAIRUZA (MATH WITCH) Dana Bettinger
MAMA BOLG Melissa Holm
K'THOL THE DEFILER Eric Cagle
FABULOUS FALTERMEYER (JUNIOR) Kat Ralbovsky
PRIMROSE MILTON Gayle Staker
GUILDMASTER MILTON Nixon VanJustice
HOBGOBLIN SHAMAN (LITTLE GHOST-TALKER) Kellen Barber
HOBGOBLIN LIEUTENANT Cristin Williams
BROTHER OWLBEAR Josh Kibbey
GOBLIN #6 (Lidi) Gayle Staker
BROTHER LOTUS BLOODBATH Kat Ralbovsky
SIBLING ASCENDANT WREN Lecion Meyers
BROTHER BADGER (NELWYN HOGGLESBOGGER) Joshua Hanson
GOBLIN #1 (ZUG) Leo Kobayashi
GOBLIN #2 (ZOG) Helena Kobayashi
VERNA Helena Kobayashi
XOLO Joshua Hanson
TUSK BLOODBATH Kellen Barber
GHOST-TALKER Eric Cagle
SHARP TOOTH BLOODBATH Gayle Staker
BOAR MOTHER BLOODBATH Melissa Holm
LAS BO-I-THUL Ramon Arjona
ROWAN SMITH Leo Kobayashi
SERGEANT Jon Sewell
GAIA BREWER Dana Bettinger
GAVIN GREENE Josh Kibbey
COMMANDER Jeff Harris
Story written by Daniel Christensen
Commercials written by Ana Kobayashi Christensen
Directed by Melissa Holm
Audio Recording and Editing by Jon Sewell
Music by Jon Sewell, Christian Stivason, Jim Thompson
Foley sounds provided by zapsplat.com
Recorded at Eleusyve Studios, Tacoma, WA
"The Final Call"
Words and music by Jon Sewell and Daniel Christensen
Performed by Jon Sewell and Melissa Holm
Character Art by Lucas Elliott
Website by Brian Coppola
Social Media by Ana Kobayashi Christensen and Courtney Jo
Advice, Alcohol, and Awesomeness courtesy of Shannon Perry
Website images by unsplash.com, specifically:
Almos Bechtold
Ricardo Cruz
Gioele Fazzeri
Rafael Garcin
Godz1
Anna Gru
Robert Lukeman
Mario Pergola
Marcel Strauss
Linus Sandvide
Nik Shuliahin
Zoran Borojevic
Except as listed below, all text copyright 2026 by Kobayastensen Media
Production copyright 2026 by Kobayastensen Media
A Paladin’s Bargain is unofficial fan content permitted under the Fan Content policy of Wizards of the Coast. Wizards of the Coast neither approved nor endorsed this content. (http://company.wizards.com/en/legal/fancontentpolicy)
This work is intended for entertainment purposes only.
The characters, situations, and narratives in this parody are fictional. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. This work is not meant to be a factual representation of the original source material, nor should it be considered a substitute for the original work.
The creators of this parody do not claim any rights to the original work and acknowledge the intellectual property rights of the original creators. This parody is not endorsed by, directly affiliated with, maintained, authorized, or sponsored by the original creators or any of their affiliates. Any trademarks featured or referred to within this parody are the property of their respective trademark holders.
This disclaimer is intended to clarify the purpose of this parody and to respect and acknowledge the rights of the original creators. The aim is not to diminish or impugn the original work, but rather to offer a humorous or critical interpretation for entertainment purposes only.
For the items listed below, we state that our production is not associated with the original creators or any entities affiliated with the original work. For non-copyright items, information is included for context and for those not drowning in pop culture.
Episode 7: Toll House, No Cookie
Episode 8: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
Episode 9: Choose the Right
Episode 10: A Dance with the Crossroads Devil
Episode 11: The Gong Show
Episode 12: Only a Free Action Away
Episode 13: Peer Pressure from Dead People
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